40

40.

An ominous number for some. A goal for others.

For me, it was a goal. And one I wasn't sure I'd reach.

Who loses 40 pounds? I suppose lots of people. But because I'd been trying for so long, I just didn't think it would be me.

I was wrong. It was me. And this time, on this diet, it wasn't as painful or lamentable as I'd expected.

I'd been encouraged to 'build in a rewards system' along the way; little presents to help me get to the goal. To announce them, both goals and rewards as I attained each. 'It's a great motivator,' I was told. But I winced at that. I'm an introvert, after all. And don't like public displays. Worse, I could build it - this rewards system - but they wouldn't come - off, that is; as in the pounds would not be shed. And then I would have lots of little reminders that I'd built it but not achieved it. I would see this goal hanging out there, unattained. That wouldn't be good.

So I decided that I would have one goal - 40 pounds - and one reward—the book above—which now sits on the cedar chest at the foot of my bed, a quiet reminder of what I've lost to gain this lovely addition to my bookshelf.

I've made more goals. With more rewards. And possibly I will post about this subject again. But for now, I'll leave you with Sally's lament, as portrayed by Meg Ryan:

Onward.