‘bringing the runway to the treadmill’

PR-Heidi-and-Tim-referee

Good morning, PR fans! And welcome to the weekly windup, featuring Episode 8, ‘Having a Field Day’. It’s another sponsored episode; one in which we hear Heidi say: ‘we’re bringing the runway to the treadmill’. Clever. So let’s limber up and begin.

The ep starts with a whistle – announcing Tim’s arrival, in full referee uniform, to awaken the designers from their slumber. Ken, fresh from his trip to the top 3, wonders if they are ‘going to Footlocker’. Ha! With Heidi designing for New Balance, I doubt it Ken. But the humor bar has just been set.

Once roused and transported to suburban New York, the button bag appears. They will be divided into teams! For the obstacle course race only, however. Huge sigh from the entire group (and from those of us tired of the group challenge drama). The o.c. consists of 4 ‘sports’: a 3-legged race, a tire sprint, a wheelbarrow race, and a pseudo-capture-the-flag event, in which the team must find a flag in a paddling pool filled with scraps of fabric. Yes, there is confusion about what constitutes a flag versus what is merely a scrap of fabric. The winning team gets to choose their fabric first – from amongst the HK|NB-approved fabrics, and is also awarded an additional hour of work time during the 1-day challenge.

The teams:
Dom/Justin :: aka ‘the winners’
Jeremy/Alexander
Helen/Bradon
Alexandria/Kate
Karen/Ken

I’d like to pause here for a sec to ask: does Karen remind anyone else of Drew Barrymore? Or maybe Joan Cusack? And also, Ken looks miserable. Of course.

At the conclusion of the event, which was won by Dom and Justin (noted above), Tim reminds everyone of the challenge budget. This time, PR has decided that each designer will be deducted $50 for 10yds of Heidi’s New Balance fabric. And they can ask for yardage in any combination of colors/textures/etc up to the 10yd limit. Once they’ve declared their stash requests, the designers disperse for the obligatory 30 min sketching time.

Whilst they return to the city, I fast-forward to the runway. I know that I missed some drama again this week. In the blur of the ff, I saw tears. And Tim sitting with Ken. What was that about, I wonder?

Then, when Heidi announced guest judge Michael Kors, I shed some tears myself. I’ve missed hearing his trademark ‘job well done’ and was plumped for some snortingly funny comments.

With Bradon, Jeremy, Dom, and Justin all ‘safe-ly’ tucked away, here are the top 3:


Kate was up first and Zac Posen summed up everyone’s sentiments: ‘Kate, you’re great.’ Kate also impresses Tim, who said that she is ‘constantly looking objectively and critically reevaluating what she can do’. High marks!

Next was Alexander and his asymmetrical jacket, which Heidi grins at and declares has landed him in the top 3. Unfortunately, both Nina and Michael blast him with less-than-enthusiastic comments about seeing it ‘on a sale rack’, immediately effusing ‘at least it’s in a store though’. At this point I am confused; didn’t Heidi start by praising this look? And then the confusion lifts; that’s why he’s in the top: Heidi likes it. Say no more.

Finally, they turn to Helen, whose look was quickly gushed about by Nina: she ‘wants it’ and would ‘take this to the gym in a minute!’ Michael calls it ‘Stevie Nicks active’, which is frankly enough to sell me. Zac calls it ‘Elivra at the gym’. And Heidi proclaims the jacket a ‘hero piece’. Looks like Helen didn’t need the immunity on this challenge. And she won, with Nina apparently already chomping at the bit to place her order.

As you may have guessed by now, the bottom 3 are Ken, Alexandria, and Karen. No surprise here really. Even dear Alexandria, who followed her Episode 6-winning ‘drop-crotch pants’ with the Episode 8 eye-watering ‘poopy pants’. Here are the looks:

Ken’s in the bottom again. His look is ‘too safe’, ‘too boring’, and has ‘awkward proportions’, says Nina, aka Not Ken’s Biggest Fan. ‘There’s no fashion here,’ she continues; ‘it’s a top and a pair of leggings.’ Michael flattens the mood further by stating that the look is like ‘Tina Turner’s dress rode up a little bit’. And Zac ends all questions with an hilarious: ‘I’m bored of harnesses’.

The comments come thick and fast when the judges turn on to Alexandria: ‘it’s a muscle t that got caught in the elliptical’. Or it looks like you were ‘out running and ran into a bear, and then pooped in your pants.’ Heidi blanches at this last comment. Heidi likes the poopy pants. And they move on.

To Karen, and the best comment of the episode, courtesy of Michael: ‘Her activity looks like she’s going to a buffet on a cruise; she could put cookies in her pockets’. I giggled – and did again as I typed that. The judges giggled. The models giggled. Though none as charmingly as Michael, who giggled at his own comment. When all was said and done, Karen was ‘out’.

My opinion? I think it was a wrongful outing. It should have been ‘safe’, ‘boring’, ‘awkward’ Ken. Next issue.

See what happens in the workroom tonight on Lifetime @ 9PM EST. And meet me back here next Thursday for the weekly windup.

Onward.

 



What do you think?